Orchid TLC

I tend to do this thing where I find something I like and must have it immediately. I'm not big on researching things beforehand, so I usually don't have any idea what I'm getting myself into until I'm say, on my way to a potential cult-yoga retreat or become the Octomom to these orchids that (shocker) require care beyond watering. :/

But admittedly, I'm the worst. I haven't pruned my orchids in YEARS and the roots have long overgrown their pots and they don't really flower as much as they used to, so it was time.

Orchids can be finicky, but I have trained mine through some whoopsie periods of neglect to be super resilient - and I think if you give orchids (or any plant) a try they'll prove to you how resilient they can be. But, sometimes aphid infestations happen and you're left in a puddle of tears mourning the loss of your miniature oncidiums, but those days are few and far between (and I'm totally over it if you can't tell).

Okay, so back to the pruning... I do this when the roots of my orchids have moved past disorderly into ratchet territory. Really they should probably be done sooner than that, but you'll understand why I don't in a moment...

Because this is my setup. 

To please these plants, I've got a charcoal mix, an orchid potting mix, and moss. These divas. 

I've found the easiest thing to do is get disposable pie pans and have the mixes soaking in those makes it easier to clean up.

I'm sure if you read orchid care blogs they'll talk about percentages of certain blah blah blahs and use words like fir bark... I'm just trusting that one of these mixes have fir bark in it because all bark looks the same to me.

What I typically do (and the sites will tell you the same) is remove the orchid and loosen any old mix to expose the roots. Then with a clean (!) pair of shears, I'll trim off any old roots - and you'll be able to tell, these guys will be all shriveled up and brown. Then, I'll ball up the good roots and put them back in the pot and fill with moss at the bottom, then a mixture of the potting soil and charcoal, and top off with more moss. That's it!

And when I'm on a roll, I'm on a roll, so I don't follow the rules - they say this is supposed to be done in the late fall and not while the orchids are blooming. Tough. I was also supposed to soak the charcoal and potting mix for at least 12 hours before using it. Sorry 'bout it.

My little Lady Slipper orchid waiting her turn!

And full disclosure - this is going to make a MESS. Your hands will be covered in charcoal bits and bark, but that's kind of my favorite part. Makes me feel like I will have actually earned my state-of-the-art-amazeballs-greenhouse-of-the-future in the future. Oooh, perhaps it will be fancy enough to even have a closet that houses things like fir bark and charcoal. OMG. Tangent alert.

And the best part about pruning is that it's also a great time for propagation - those little maxillaria (the ones with the really thin and long leaves) were ready to be separated and will hopefully bloom this year - they give off the coolest coconut scent!

I hope I haven't made it too overwhelming. This really isn't rocket science (especially if I can do it) and orchids are really amazing little plants. Once you've mastered the phalaenopsis the more exotic ones that you first thought were weird/scary looking will just start accumulating. :)

Next on my plant wish list: cattleyas, those mini oncidiums, a ginormous elephant ear, and a fiddle leaf fig tree (or two). Well, and that amazing greenhouse that I mentioned earlier...

And because I'm finally admitting to being that crazy plant lady, I must tell you that I have hung my baby staghorn fern in the garage because room is growing scare in the house. But, conditions in the garage are perfect for this little guy - muggy and the windows in the garage still let a good amount of light in. It'll be a while until this guy gets as big as the ones at the Hillwood Museum, but we've all got to start somewhere!