My One and Only Issue with the Olympics...

and it's not even really related to the actual Olympic Games. I am absolutely infuriated that Ryan Lochte's parents did not take one look at that child and decide to do the world a favor and have about 50 more of him.

Why?
Because only one girl can win his heart and you don't want to be responsible for the start any sort of Trojan-level War.

So my dear friends, let this be a lesson learned. If your offspring turn out to be gorgeous (see above) you owe it to the world to help replenish the depleting population of breathtakingly beautiful single men.